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Category: lgbtq

My Latina Girlfriend’s White Ass

My least favorite tokenism is the kind where you’re invited to a party to check off a box when you don’t actually fit that box, and they don’t even know you don’t fit that box.  But you’re the closest or most comfortably exotic thing for everyone and they get to high-five themselves instead of growing or getting up from their table from time to time.

Example: Like when everyone kisses my girlfriend’s white ass and checks off the POC seat at their table. I mean, I like that ass more than you do, but it was white in Venezuela and it’s white here. And every Latinx POC knows that. 

Anti-Racist Newsflash: They got white people south of the US/Mexican border.  And something else we don’t talk about much, there are Black folks in Latin America too.  

What does this require us to reconsider?

 

Everything.

 

But let’s pause here for now: 12 Latina Authors You Should Be Reading Right Now. 

 

Note:  Being an immigrant is always complicated.  It’s especially complicated for Latinx folks in the U.S.  This conversation is not meant to minimize that experience.  Our hope is to make our conversation as complicated as folks’ lived realities.  And being a white immigrant, even if you’re an undocumented queer woman, is not the same experience as being a brown or Black immigrant.  Being a Latinx immigrant in the U.S. is difficult, but as with most experiences, it is made less difficult by whiteness.  And language privileges.  But we’ll get to that later in this series as other voices join the conversation.

Language Note: “Our table” or “their table” is a common U.S. English phrase that usually refers to where a group of people meet or share conversations.

Definitions: Tokenism, Latinx

 

Stop assuming your kids are straight, please.

Stop assuming your kids are straight, please.

Stop letting people punch your son in the shoulder and ask him how many girlfriends he has.

Stop letting people tell your daughter she’s going to break all the boys’ hearts.

Stop imagining a wedding day that isn’t yours.

If you’re heartbroken, or angry, when your kid comes out to you, it’s because you’ve deceived you. It’s not because of a single thing they’ve done or who they are.

If your kid needs to come out to you, because you haven’t already openly offered possibilities for any version of who they might be, work toward it.

They’ve got the whole world to be uncertain about. Make sure your love isn’t at the top of the list.